My BFF Lynne and I just got back from a trip to Miami last weekend.
Despite all warnings, we chose to fly on Thanksgiving Day. You would think after multiple viewings of ‘Planes, Trains and Automobiles’ that travelling in the holidays would be considered insanity, but it was the only time we could go, so we risked it.
Cayman Airways docked at a Concourse E gate, which threw us completely. There was an unfamiliar escalator, halls and even a wee train to take to the main building. But, not to worry, the surprises ended there. Ye olde dreaded trek to border control appeared before us, and we joined the masses heading towards the great hall.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: If you can apply for Global Entry, do it. We both have it, and so we sailed past the snaking line of non-US Citizens – like riders waiting to get on the latest ride at DisneyWorld – and were through in a trice. I mean, if you could get an Express Pass for DisneyWorld to bypass the queues, wouldn’t you? Times-a-million for US immigration.
Baggage claim was its usual chaos, and we begrudgingly paid for a Smarte Carte. I saw one of our suitcases moving past on the belt, but I couldn’t grab it in time. So I waited for a while, but it didn’t return. I headed around to see a porter pulling all the bags off, but mine wasn’t there.
“Excuse me? I had a large green bag go by but it hasn’t come back and it isn’t here. Do you know where it is?” I asked him, in a slightly panicked voice. Visions of someone taking my suitcase with all its worldly goods of old underwear, Spanx and the one pair of jeans that fit me, danced in my head like scary sugar plums.
“Lady, I can’t help you,” he replied, giving me a look like I was a boil on Santa’s bum.
Charming. He was a right miserable house elf. Someone give that man a piece of clothing, stat!
Just as I was about to wrench a microphone from a baggage official’s hands to put out an all-points bulletin, Lynne saw the missing soldier lazily trundle by on the belt. Thank goodness!
I grabbed it in front of the porter, saying, “Got it. Thanks, you’ve been an enormous help,” in a voice dripping with sarcasm.
“You’re welcome,” he said, oblivious to my tone.
“Just leave it,” Lynne whispered, as she saw my face turn pink, guiding me towards the exit.
Thus began our four days in Miami.
The temperatures were delightfully cool. In fact, the lads who work outside the hotel doors complained of it being “freezing” in the mornings. Ha! At 65°F? Those kids wouldn’t survive a day in a Toronto winter.
Lynne was layered up wherever we went, but I was very happy in a T-shirt and jeans. Many young ladies and men walking downtown seemed to eschew cardigans, coats or anything that covered up the fabulously fit bodies they were sporting. Miami is definitely a city of the beautiful people. I figured if I lingered on any street corner, they’d be handing me their spare change.
We didn’t hit the shops until Black Friday afternoon, and they really weren’t busy at all. That being said, it looked like a plague of locusts had swept the shelves. Target had a few broken ornaments greeting us on its front display, and that was about it. Racks of DVDs looked relatively untouched, but there were lots of TV-shaped gaps along the back walls and the only electronics left behind were clearly in the least desirable colours. Maybe it was the deals, or perhaps it was the items, but this had to be a great way to find out what customers really coveted.
What I found, as we went from shop to shop, was that I was completely overwhelmed by the selection of gifts, clothes, accessories … to the point that I just couldn’t make any decisions. I got about 20 sets of Christmas earrings – kind of bonkers, when I rarely wear earrings of any kind – and a couple of festive tree headbands, but I couldn’t even begin to boil down choices when it came to lights, decorations, hot chocolate-and-mug packages, seasonal teas and board games.
Actually, I tell a lie. I bought two oversized Grinch hoodies (with Grinch face and hair tufts on the hoods) for Lynne and I, because I wanted us to be the coolest cats on the block when we went out at night.
(That’s the great thing about a best friend like her – she is quite willing to don such things and wear them out in public.)
Over the time that we were there, we went for some very nice dinners (I highly recommend Uchi and Cote), and headed north to West Palm Beach to see a fantastic exhibition about Egypt and the Pharaohs, hosted by PBS. If you’ve ever done Frameless in London or Superblue in Miami, it works in the same way. A huge room with amazing visuals up the walls and across the floor. It has to be seen to be appreciated.
We went to Egypt a number of years ago, so we were particularly interested in this event. It’s running until March 2026; if you have the chance to go, you absolutely should.
They’re starting a Titanic one on 30 Jan. 2026. Let’s hope that’s not incredibly immersive.
“Right! You four will play the part of the musicians who went down with the ship …”
And FYI, while I’m on the subject of recommendations, we didn’t get the chance to go this time, but if you are anywhere near Miami between now and 7 March, you must go to the Luminosa experience on Jungle Island. It is acres of extraordinary Chinese ‘lanterns’ on a grand scale – just breathtaking. Website is www.luminosamiami.com. I swear, if you don’t think it’s wonderful, I’ll give you your money back.
(You have to catch me first.)
I rented a car while we were away, which meant we got the usual news that what I had reserved at the local Hertz wasn’t available for another two hours. Those poor staff – they were having to deal with a growing group of incensed customers who were sitting around like pigeons, waiting for vehicles to be returned.
When we finally headed out, our first stop was PetSmart to buy our fourth litter robot (we have a lot of cats). It was still more expensive than my own toilet, but at least we got a slight Black Friday discount. Just watching Lynne trying to push it around the shop in a cart was worth the purchase. Think: Mouse pushing an elephant. We do use Uber for going out to dinner, but I didn’t fancy trying to cram that massive box into the back of a driver’s vehicle. My rating would have taken a hit soon after.
When it was coming time for our trip to end, we began packing the day before. I’m always worried about suitcase space and weight; can we still nest luggage or will we be rocking up to the Cayman Airways counter with 30 bags in tow?
It all worked out – earrings, Grinch hoodies and some much-needed new underwear didn’t require as much square footage as one might think. I was glad I had walked away from the large ceramic snowman at Marshalls and the huge Snoopy cookie jar. They might have tipped us over the top.
Flying back to Cayman, I had a fistful of receipts to go through. Despite the extra duty-free allowance from government, I was still over. A litter robot and boxes of testing strips for a diabetic cat will do that.
Something worth mentioning: The customs officer we got at ‘Something to Declare’ could not have been nicer. He was thorough, professional, and pleasant at all times. Always nice to see that the front line staff at the airport can do their jobs and still be welcoming – particularly important for tourists to have that experience.
I’d love to write more, but I have to go and set up the litter robot. Then, hopefully, it will be a very merry Christmas.
