by Judy M McCutcheon
You know, sometimes I wonder if we, as women, unknowingly contribute to the glass ceiling that so many of us struggle to break through.
It’s a tough and uncomfortable question, but it’s one worth exploring. From a young age, many of us are taught to see other women as competition rather than allies. It’s almost like an unwritten rule. Whether it’s the subtle messages from media, the way we’re pitted against each other in school, or the societal expectation to “have it all,” there’s this underlying narrative that there’s only so much room at the top, and we’re all fighting for the same limited space.
But let’s take a step back. How much of this mindset is really about other women, and how much of it is about how we feel about ourselves? I’ve noticed that when we’re struggling with our self-worth, it’s easy to project those insecurities onto others. If we don’t feel good enough, it’s tempting to see another woman’s success as a threat instead of a celebration. We start to believe that someone else’s win means our loss, which only deepens the divide.
In my lifetime, I’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum. I’ve had incredible support from women who’ve lifted me, mentored me, and opened doors that I didn’t even know existed. But, if I’m honest, I’ve also encountered barriers — often from other women. It’s a difficult truth to confront, but confront it we must if we’re going to move forward. These experiences have made me realise just how complex our relationships with one another can be.
This brings me to something that’s not talked about enough: the importance of dealing with our traumas. We have all experienced some type of trauma — whether it’s from childhood, past relationships, our workplaces, or societal pressures. And if we don’t address them, they often bleed into other areas of our lives, including how we relate to other women. It’s like we’re carrying around a heavy load of unresolved pain, and it colours our perceptions and interactions.
When we’re stressed or feeling overwhelmed, it’s even harder to be supportive of others. Stress makes everything feel like a competition. We’re so busy trying to keep our heads above water that we don’t have the emotional bandwidth to lift others up. But here’s the thing: when we take the time to heal, to really work through our issues, we find that there’s more than enough room for everyone to succeed. We stop seeing other women as the enemy and start seeing them more as friends on a journey together, though our paths may be different.
There’s something so beautiful and empowering about supporting other women. Think about the last time you helped another woman achieve her goals, no matter how big or small. Remember that feeling? There’s a unique joy that comes from knowing you played a part in someone else’s success. It’s like a warm, glowing light that fills you up from the inside. Every year, as I sit down to plan my annual leadership conference, so many women come forward to help that I know for sure that I am fully supported.
And here’s the secret: another woman’s success doesn’t diminish your success. In fact, it amplifies it. When we lift each other up, we create a ripple effect. We build communities of strong, confident women who are ready to take on the world together. We show the next generation of females that there’s no need for a scarcity mindset because there’s plenty of success to go around. So, what if we all made a conscious effort to rewrite the narrative? What if we started to see other women not as competitors but as collaborators? What if we recognised that breaking the glass ceiling isn’t about pushing others down, but about lifting each other up?
It starts with us — how we think about ourselves, how we heal our wounds, and how we choose to interact with the women around us. It’s about being aware of the stress we carry and finding healthy ways to manage it so that it doesn’t turn us against each other. It’s about celebrating the victories of others as if they were our own because, in a way, they are. We’ve all heard the saying, “A rising tide lifts all boats.” Let’s be that tide for each other. Let’s challenge the old, outdated notions that women have to be at odds with each other to get ahead. Let’s create a new narrative where we see each other’s success as a win for all of us.
In the end, the glass ceiling may be real, but it doesn’t have to be reinforced by our actions. We have the power to change the way we think, the way we feel, and the way we support each other. And when we do, that ceiling doesn’t stand a chance. So, here’s to breaking barriers, together. Here’s to healing our past, supporting each other in the present, and building a future where every woman can thrive. And let’s start today with a little more kindness, a little more understanding, and a whole lot more support for the women around us.
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Judy McCutcheon is the CEO of Go Blue Consulting and a Certified Leadership and Trauma-Informed Coach.